“Hey Siri, can you set a reminder for me?”
“Hey Alexa, what’s the weather outside?”
With so many different “personal assistant” type technologies readily available to us on a daily basis, people have many more means available to them to ask for help or to find out information.
Even when we’re not even looking for it, we accidentally hit our phone’s home button the wrong way, and Siri bolts out the phrase “what can i help you with?”
And while it’s great to have these tools to help us send a text when we’re unable to type, or to make it easier to find out the weather; unfortunately asking for ‘real’ help is not always as simple as yelling “Hey Siri.”
With 3 difficult seasons behind me, I knew that going into my Senior season something needed to change. And while there were a myriad of things I needed to fix, one of the most important was speaking up to my coach about my training program.
Now you’re probably thinking that’s not a difficult task. That I should’ve just walked into my coach’s office and had the discussion about what I felt like I needed to change.
If only I had felt as though it were that easy.
While I didn’t have a bad relationship with any of my coaches throughout college, I was always afraid to go to them, or any other member on our staff for that matter, and ask for help.
Because for me (at the time, at least), asking for help felt like I was being confrontational or burdening others with my own problems.
I have always prided myself on trying to learn as much as I can from others; never believing that I knew everything about anything. Because, besides yourself (I mean who knows you better than you?), who’s to say you can really know EVERYTHING about a certain something? You can’t. There is always room to grow and learn in every aspect of life.
Therefore, when faced with the decision to talk to my coach, I applied this same mentality to the situation. I felt as though by wanting to discuss some of the aspects I didn’t feel were working in my training program, that I was acting as though I knew more about how to coach me than they did.
So for 3 years, I sat by and invested my all into the training I was given. And while some aspects were successful (despite my lack of progression in terms of PRs over those 3 years); others were not.
And instead of speaking up in those moments where I felt like certain aspects weren’t helping me; I decided to stick it out for the fear that I was being confrontational.
I didn’t want my coach to feel like I was a difficult athlete to work with, or feel like I was challenging their training program.
But, as I said earlier about no one being able to know EVERYTHING about anything; I only looked at this idea from my perspective.
Because just as I felt that I didn’t know everything about how to coach me (I’m no D1 track coach, that’s for sure); I never considered that maybe my coach didn’t either. With so many athletes to manage everyday, it would be naive to believe that your collegiate coach (or any coach, no matter the level you’re at), would know everything about how you’re feeling regarding training.
The only way they’ll know, however, is if you tell them.
The same goes for all other aspects of sports, and even life.
Your athletic trainer, or doctor is only going to know that something’s hurting you, unless you reach out to ask for help and tell them.
Your professor in school, is only going to know if you don’t understand a topic during lecture, unless you also reach out and tell them.
You see the common theme here?
While it can feel intimidating, or even that you’re being a burden to those people by reaching out for help; the only way you’re going to get it is by asking.
Reaching out to ask for help (I know now), is not being confrontational.
Nor is it being a burden to others.
In reaching out for help, you are recognizing that the difficulties you’re facing cannot be faced or overcome alone.
By learning to understand this, I got the push I needed to become my own self-advocate and finally reach out to my coach.
In doing so, I opened the door for us to have collaborative conversations, as she reminded me that coaching is a collaborative effort.
Together, we were able to make some modifications to my training program, and with that I went on to have the best season of my collegiate career.
For 3 years I waited around for someone to recognize the things I was struggling with. I was unaware, however, that if I truly wanted the help I knew I needed, that I was going to have to put the fears and notions I had about speaking up aside, and ask for it myself.
Because in life, there is no accidentally hitting the home button.
You can’t just wait around for Siri to call out to you when you need it most.
Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands.
Sending you the courage to become your own self-advocate this week!
Until Next Time–
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