There’s a small space in my car that I use to keep my spare change.
Change I get after driving through Starbucks to get my morning coffee.
Change I have from spending the cash that has inevitably burnt a hole in my pocket yet again.
Or simply change that I keep in case I run into a parking meter that doesn’t take cards.
Regardless, without a second thought, I throw whatever change I have– whether it be quarters or pennies– into that small bin.
And I only reach into the bin when I need it.
If I’m running into the grocery store, I never stop and grab a handful of change from the bin.
Only when I desperately find myself in need of some change– like for the parking meter– do I grab some.
And while I hate to be punny–and maybe even a little bit confusing– the way I keep change in my car serves as a great metaphor for how I handle real CHANGE (not the money kind).
After a whirlwind 2 months– graduation, becoming a PAC-12 and NCAA Champion, as well as an All American (as I’ve mentioned so many times before)– I moved back home having accomplished almost everything I’d set out to do at USC.
And with each accomplishment– I’d metaphorically added some change (yes, the money kind) to my bin.
A quarter for graduating, a dime for being a PAC-12 champion– and so on.
With each major accomplishment, I celebrated, and then much like the change I threw nonchalantly into my car- I was on to the next.
Until there was no more ‘next.’
USATF Championships was over and my track season had come to a close.
My diploma came in the mail and my time as a Trojan had also come to a close.
The last few boxes were moved back into my childhood home and my time in LA had come to a close.
All of that ‘change’ I’d metaphorically thrown into the bin without giving it another thought had begun to pile up.
Suddenly I was left with an overflowing pile of quarters, nickels, dimes, pennies– that I’d once disregarded and now needed to get rid of.
You see, with so much going on within those 2 months– I’d forgotten to take the time to process everything that was happening.
And thus, when it was all over– I didn’t know how to accept nor process the changes that were in front of me.
I no longer was a collegiate track and field athlete.
Nor was I a USC student.
I no longer lived in Los Angeles and was constantly surrounded by my best friends and former teammates.
And I won’t lie– as I’ve said before– I’m going to be utterly transparent and vulnerable on this blog:
I had a difficult time handling all of these ‘no longers.’
It was as if all at once, all of the identifiers I’d had for the past four years (being a student for the past 16 years) were stripped from me in one swoop.
And so, I allowed myself to ‘grieve’ at the loss of these ‘no longers.’
Yet, part of that ‘grieving’ process meant handling all of that ‘change’ (the pieces I’d mentioned earlier) that I let overflow.
So to handle it– I decided to cash it in.
I took all of those metaphorical quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies that I’d gathered and I used them to help me move forward.
Instead of looking at all of these instances as ‘no longers,’ I focused on how they’d changed me for the better.
While I am no longer a collegiate track and field athlete, I am now a post-collegiate athlete in pursuit of trying to become a professional athlete.
While I am no longer a USC student, I am now an alumni with a Bachelor’s degree.
And while I am no longer living in Los Angeles surrounded by my best friends; I am now living in San Diego getting to train in a dream facility, be surrounded by athletes I’ve always admired, and build new friendships.
So whether or not you’re someone like me who chooses to let all of the ‘change’ in their life pile up until they’re forced to deal with it–
Or you’re someone who’s good at cashing it all in as it comes–
The fact of the matter is: change is hard.
Allow yourself to grieve at the losses.
But also remember to be open to the new beginnings.
Sending you all the perspective you need to handle any changes you’re experiencing right now!
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